Yea for the warmer weather! With my job I do a lot of driving...spending anywhere from 6 to 10 hours a day on my arse driving from property to property, and I love to roll down the windows and feel some air on my face!
But with the warmer weather comes the issue of clothing. Tank tops, shorts, bathing suits, etc. This, for me, is a HUGE problem. I have this thing called the "Spotlight effect" I learned about it in Psychology class. I honestly feel like everyone is looking at me. Criticizing me and my clothes. How tight my shirts are...if my arms look too fat, etc. This, of course, is stupid. No one cares but me...(right?)..
Sigh...the stupid crap I think about.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Another Mountain
What is my obsession with weight? Why can't I be happy with life as I am? I struggle with questions like these on a daily basis.
One day I am "Gun ho" on getting healthy! Yahoo!!! Drink water, eat good foods, take the stairs, park as far away as I can from any and every building I have to enter. Those are the good days.
Other days I want to slap every skinny person that walks by. Screw the stairs, illegally park in the handicap spaces (Being fat counts as a handicap, right?)...water??? Who needs it?
Bi-polar much?
I would say yes.
I honestly think an addiction to food is the worst addiction to have. Tobacco, Meth, Pain Pills....they are all nothing compared to food. We need food to survive. We pass dozens of fast food restaurants when we drive, we have food in our homes...at all times...how can we possibly give it up?
Lately, I have found myself dreaming about food...not even in my sleep can I escape my favorite foods.
Will this ever get any easier?
One day I am "Gun ho" on getting healthy! Yahoo!!! Drink water, eat good foods, take the stairs, park as far away as I can from any and every building I have to enter. Those are the good days.
Other days I want to slap every skinny person that walks by. Screw the stairs, illegally park in the handicap spaces (Being fat counts as a handicap, right?)...water??? Who needs it?
Bi-polar much?
I would say yes.
I honestly think an addiction to food is the worst addiction to have. Tobacco, Meth, Pain Pills....they are all nothing compared to food. We need food to survive. We pass dozens of fast food restaurants when we drive, we have food in our homes...at all times...how can we possibly give it up?
Lately, I have found myself dreaming about food...not even in my sleep can I escape my favorite foods.
Will this ever get any easier?
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
An Early Morning Workout...
Why on earth would anyone want to get up at 5:30 am when they don't have to? Oh..that's right, because I need to. This challenge has officially started for me. I went to my first team get-together and met most of my team members. That experience has made this whole experience real.
Sitting here tonight, my abs are sore and I am already thinking of excuses to get out of tomorrow's workout. Maybe I will "accidentally" oversleep. Maybe I will wake up sick...coughing and nauseated, too weak to move from my bed. Or maybe the kids...what if one of them were sick? I surely couldn't go exercise if they were sick, right? I mean, what kind of mother would I be?
But then I refocus my thoughts and try to ignore the soreness. No more excuses. I can not and will not let my body beat me at this.
Sitting here tonight, my abs are sore and I am already thinking of excuses to get out of tomorrow's workout. Maybe I will "accidentally" oversleep. Maybe I will wake up sick...coughing and nauseated, too weak to move from my bed. Or maybe the kids...what if one of them were sick? I surely couldn't go exercise if they were sick, right? I mean, what kind of mother would I be?
But then I refocus my thoughts and try to ignore the soreness. No more excuses. I can not and will not let my body beat me at this.
Friday, January 20, 2012
This is it...
Well, tomorrow is almost here. I am nervous and excited...and even a little sick to my stomach (or is that the donuts and raspberry bar I had for dessert??). I can not believe that I am going to be part of a weight loss team. Each of us held accountable for our part in winning. No more excuses. No more donuts. Uh. I need to do everything in my power to start new habits. I can no longer allow food to control my life.
Time to get the water bottle back out. Drag out the scale. Dust off my workout clothes and GET MOVIN!!!!
Time to get the water bottle back out. Drag out the scale. Dust off my workout clothes and GET MOVIN!!!!
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
A New Year
What is it about the New Year that makes everyone so excited about bettering them selves and starting fresh? In reality, New Years Day is just the day after New Years Eve. Nothing changes. If you had bills that needed paid, dishes in the sink, or any other "daily" thing on the 31st...it will still be there on the 1st.
But regardless of what I think, the tradition continues and the world continues to make promises to themselves that they rarely keep.
I, on the other hand, make several attempts to "get healthy" throughout the year. This past year was the closet I have been to almost making a change! From July until October I had lost a total of 30 pounds! It felt great! I bought new jeans and wore clothes that had not fit me in years.
However, life took hold, once again and the unhealthy choices I was making to loose that weight was no longer plausible. Within 2 months the weight returned and my new clothes were shoved back into the dark corners of my closet.
Depressed and ashamed I made excuse after excuse to myself and to my friends and family on why the weight returned, unwilling to face the truth. New Years came and went with me refusing to join the world in making any sort of resolutions.
And then it happened. I looked in the mirror and could see those 30 pounds back on my body.
"What in the heck am I doing?" I thought.
So it begins again. I began looking around for help. This time I will not do it alone! AND I will NOT do it unhealthy! I signed up for the Treasure Valley Weight Loss competition and am on a team with Nampa Fit Studios! I am sooo excited to start this new chapter in life!!!
A guess a part of me can't help but join the rest of the world...but just a few days late :)
But regardless of what I think, the tradition continues and the world continues to make promises to themselves that they rarely keep.
I, on the other hand, make several attempts to "get healthy" throughout the year. This past year was the closet I have been to almost making a change! From July until October I had lost a total of 30 pounds! It felt great! I bought new jeans and wore clothes that had not fit me in years.
However, life took hold, once again and the unhealthy choices I was making to loose that weight was no longer plausible. Within 2 months the weight returned and my new clothes were shoved back into the dark corners of my closet.
Depressed and ashamed I made excuse after excuse to myself and to my friends and family on why the weight returned, unwilling to face the truth. New Years came and went with me refusing to join the world in making any sort of resolutions.
And then it happened. I looked in the mirror and could see those 30 pounds back on my body.
"What in the heck am I doing?" I thought.
So it begins again. I began looking around for help. This time I will not do it alone! AND I will NOT do it unhealthy! I signed up for the Treasure Valley Weight Loss competition and am on a team with Nampa Fit Studios! I am sooo excited to start this new chapter in life!!!
A guess a part of me can't help but join the rest of the world...but just a few days late :)
Monday, August 8, 2011
My First Plateau
So I started over in June. It was time to do it....and do it right this time. So I have been going to the gym 4 to 5 times a week and trying to eat healthy. On July 27th I hit the 20 pound lost mark. Since then.....it has almost 2 weeks....I have not lost anything else! This is so frustrating! I excersise alot, hardly eat....and am stuck! I was sick for a week...but still did not quit. I just don't understand.
At first I was sure that my scale was broken. I even had Ray hop on to check. But no....I guess it is working. I feel frustrated and confused and.....really really angry with myself.
But I will not give up. In fact, I am heading to the gym now.
I WILL beat this!
At first I was sure that my scale was broken. I even had Ray hop on to check. But no....I guess it is working. I feel frustrated and confused and.....really really angry with myself.
But I will not give up. In fact, I am heading to the gym now.
I WILL beat this!
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Time Sure Flies
Wow...has it really been that long since I blogged about my weight? Crazy how time flies so fast and all you can do is look back and wonder where the last few months went.
So the question you are probably wondering is....how much weight did you loose in that time? Yea, well, let's just say I didn't gain. Thank goodness. But maintaining has never been my problem. I have a habit of plateauing for YEARS at a time.
So, this semester I am talking Health and Wellness. And what is the main point of this class? To learn all about our bodies and we get the opportunity to either break or start a habit. This involves a journal that I have to write in 5 days a week.
Now, why can't I have an easy habit to break? Like smoking or drinking soda, or drugs...LOL....just kidding, I am sure those that are addicted to that stuff would have a hard time stopping too, but I wanted to whine. So, I chose to start a habit of going to the gym 3 days a week. Not the 5 days I was going back in Jan and Feb, but it is a start.
So I went....and I about died. But I did it...3 times. Now to keep this new habit!!!
So the question you are probably wondering is....how much weight did you loose in that time? Yea, well, let's just say I didn't gain. Thank goodness. But maintaining has never been my problem. I have a habit of plateauing for YEARS at a time.
So, this semester I am talking Health and Wellness. And what is the main point of this class? To learn all about our bodies and we get the opportunity to either break or start a habit. This involves a journal that I have to write in 5 days a week.
Now, why can't I have an easy habit to break? Like smoking or drinking soda, or drugs...LOL....just kidding, I am sure those that are addicted to that stuff would have a hard time stopping too, but I wanted to whine. So, I chose to start a habit of going to the gym 3 days a week. Not the 5 days I was going back in Jan and Feb, but it is a start.
So I went....and I about died. But I did it...3 times. Now to keep this new habit!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)