My First Plateau

So I started over in June. It was time to do it....and do it right this time. So I have been going to the gym 4 to 5 times a week and trying to eat healthy. On July 27th I hit the 20 pound lost mark. Since then.....it has almost 2 weeks....I have not lost anything else! This is so frustrating! I excersise alot, hardly eat....and am stuck! I was sick for a week...but still did not quit. I just don't understand.
At first I was sure that my scale was broken. I even had Ray hop on to check. But no....I guess it is working. I feel frustrated and confused and.....really really angry with myself.
But I will not give up. In fact, I am heading to the gym now.
I WILL beat this!

Time Sure Flies

Wow...has it really been that long since I blogged about my weight? Crazy how time flies so fast and all you can do is look back and wonder where the last few months went.
So the question you are probably wondering is....how much weight did you loose in that time? Yea, well, let's just say I didn't gain. Thank goodness. But maintaining has never been my problem. I have a habit of plateauing for YEARS at a time.
So, this semester I am talking Health and Wellness. And what is the main point of this class? To learn all about our bodies and we get the opportunity to either break or start a habit. This involves a journal that I have to write in 5 days a week.
Now, why can't I have an easy habit to break? Like smoking or drinking soda, or drugs...LOL....just kidding, I am sure those that are addicted to that stuff would have a hard time stopping too, but I wanted to whine. So, I chose to start a habit of going to the gym 3 days a week. Not the 5 days I was going back in Jan and Feb, but it is a start.
So I went....and I about died. But I did it...3 times. Now to keep this new habit!!!

Coming home from vacation

So people gain weight on vacation...right? This is usually the case.....at least it is with me. ...Anyway,
we went to the coast with Tracy and her family. Tracy's Grandma has a beach house there....about 2 blocks from the ocean....GREAT VIEWS.....it was sooo nice to get away!
PROBLEM: ZACH...Tracy's husband is a WONDERFUL cook....I am soooo glad I did not marry someone like him....cause I would be twice my weight!!!! Sigh....
The first night he made meatloaf, homemade mashed potatoes and gravy, salad and corn......yumm!
The second night we ate a rice, beef, corn, and cheese casserole...yummy!
The third night we feasted on a thanksgiving dinner.....turkey, rolls, salad, gravy, stuffing, homemade mashed potatoes....to die for!
And finally the fourth night we had lasagna....with french bread and salad......I wanted to cry it was soooo good!
I guess the problem is not WHAT I ate, but how MUCH I ate....
So I came home and this morning I weighed myself....I gained.....after loosing 26 pounds, I have gained a total of 19 of it back.....leaving a weight loss of ONLY 7 pounds!!!!! WAHHHHH!!!..
OK.....So it is time to refocus, it is time to head back to the gym.....this 19 pounds took a month of no trips to the gym to gain back....so it was not just the vacation....it was me (I need to go back to the doctor and find out what is going on with my left foot, though.....Ray's mom says it is called a bone spur....something to Google.)...BUT I WILL work out...left foot in pain and all!!!!

No more energy....

So today as I was talking to a friend, I mentioned to her how I have been so tired.  I have been having a hard time concentrating on my homework.  I often find myself staring at the computer screen.....staring....staring....and nothing comes.  I feel like my motivation is gone.
She was quick to inform me that had noticed how tired I have looked these past 2 weeks....what had changed?  The answer was simple. I stopped working out.  All the energy that I had last month is gone and my eating habits have changed, once again. 
Disgusted and angry with myself, I once again decided that I need to step up my game plan and get back on that wagon....because the last thing I want is to sit at my computer and STARE....I need my energy back!

Sitting at church

Sitting at church today, I began thinking about Tucanos.  Tucanos is my most favorite restaurant.  Actually, almost all of those "All-You-Can" eat restaurants are my favorites....but Tucanos is the best.
Why you may ask?  The answer is simple. At Tucanos I do not even have to leave my seat to get more food....they bring it right to me!  (This also makes it easier to eat more....because no one notices how much you are eating).
After a while I began to realize how sad I am....first because I was in CHURCH and should have been thinking about God and everything he does for me.....and instead I was thinking about food!
What does this say about me?  Have I gotten so bad that I can not even concentrate on everyday life?  Has food become my obsession? Something to ponder.....

March 13, 2011

So we went. 
WOW....what an experience!  I have school on Fridays, so after my last class, I stopped by my house to pick up my bag and to kiss the family goodbye.
After picking up my aunt R. and fueling up, we headed towards Salt Lake!  We made it to my friend M's house about 11:30pm.  M. was nice enough to open her home to us for a few hours to rest and nap. 
At about 2 am, R. and I got up and dressed for our day.  We headed out and arrived at the Maverick Center in Salt Lake City about 3:30 am.  The line had already started forming.  Chairs and sleeping bags lined the steps of the Maverick Center.  The temperature was amazingly mild.  There was no wind and it almost felt eerily warm out.
  We set up camp and began to introduce ourselves to our neighbors.  Minutes became an hour, an hour became two.  Adrenaline keep us going.  We were running on little sleep and little food, and soon we were also noticeably without a bathroom.
Soon the weather shifted and rain began to fall.  The winds picked up and the temperature fell about ten degrees instantly. 
We jumped up and down to keep warm.  Wrapped in blankets we watched and waited for signs from the building in hopes to use the bathroom. 

At about 5:30 am I mentioned being hungry and offered to go get some girl scout cookies from my car. There I was surrounded by 100 other heavy people, all waiting for a chance to change their life and lose even a pound of their weight.....and I mention COOKIES??? Are ya kidding me???
I instantly became a friend and a foe.  One called me the "anti-Christ", right before she purchased 2 boxes of cookies, one called me a "life-saver" as she purchased 6 boxes.  Honestly, if there was ever a better place to set up a cookie booth sale, that was the place!
Finally at 6:30 am, they began letting people in 2 at a time to use the restroom.  I had never been so happy to see a public bathroom!!!!  The rain continued to sprinkle down on us, but the wind eventually stopped.  (either that or I got sooo numb I did not notice it anymore).
And finally it was time.  At 8am the doors were opened and we were let into the building.  We were ushered into the stands like cattle, given numbers and a short application.  I became number 50, R. number 51.  We filled out our applications and waited. 
About 15 minutes later we were given instructions.  Come when your number is called.  Enter a room. Talk when it is your turn and do not attempt to hug or shake hands with any member of the "Biggest Loser" staff (I guess it takes up time and something about it being cold and flu season)
We were also told that no sob stories were allowed and that we were going to doing our interview in groups of 12. 
REALLY??? Who can shine in a group of 12???
We were asked our names, occupation and weight.  We were also asked our favorite restaurant and why.  Finally were were asked to name 2 things that someone would not guess by looking at you.
Then we were thanked, told to send in a home video by March 25th and sent out the door.
That was IT!!!!
After 4 and a half hours in the cold wind and rain, it took us approximately 45 minutes to leave.  And only 10 of those minutes was actual interviewing.
Shoot me.
By that time I was SOO tired I could barley think, but my aunt wanted to head home, so we headed back to the freeway and immediately headed back to Idaho.
We made it home about 4 pm.  With only an hour and a half of sleep, I was literally sleep walking as I entered my home (something I NEVER suggest doing).
I showered and fell into my bed, dreaming of a new me.

January/February 2011

This is the year for change!  I am not sure why I chose 2011, when there have been so many other years to pick.  Maybe it is the fact that I turn 30 this year.  Maybe it is because I am tired of being tired.  Whatever the reason, I chose this year to be THE year.
First I went back to school.  Signing up for college classes was an experience all on it's own.  One I am SUPER proud of! 
Then I decided to join a weight loss challenge.  This challenge was to be my motivator, my challenger, and my focus.  The prize? A healthier me.....and a possibility to earn some money.  Let's be honest...money is a great incentive.  Very few people do something for nothing.  Unfortunately, a healthier body and lifestyle is not a tangible item, money is.  So I decided to go for it.
 The first 4 weeks into my challenge was awesome!  I lost a total of 26 pounds, and had no issues counting calories and making it to the gym.  I was so proud of myself. 
But then life took over as it always seems to.  School and homework seemed to take up more time.  Spending quality time with my children and hubby was becoming fewer and far between....and then one day I picked up a church magazine and read an article about "What Matters Most". 
What does matter most? Ultimately I would like to be around a while, so that I can watch my children grow, but when getting there takes up so much of your time.....which do you choose?  I could not let school go and sleep is a must, so what could I give up to spend more time with my family?
So I made the decision that I have made so many other times.  I stopped heading to the gym as much and started justifying my actions on my family. 
Was being healthy really all that important?
 I know it is.....but what else can I sacrifice to get to my goal?  Why should I HAVE to sacrifice anything?  WHY can't it all be easy?? (OK, so now I know I am getting carried away)...LOL.....
So I slowly stopped.  Unfortunately my obsession with my scale did not stop.  I step on that scale every morning and every night, waiting and watching for those 26 pounds to reappear. 
Thus far they have not, but the pounds are also not coming OFF anymore, either.
So now what?  Well, my aunt called me in Feb and told me that the show "The Biggest Loser" was having a casting call in Salt Lake City, Utah.  So we decided to go.  Really what could it hurt?  If I was noticed, I could be on the show, if I was not noticed.....well I was determined to jump back up and find the time to balance my schedule.  Either way, I am sure to be a "biggest loser"

How I got to where I am...

The summer before Junior High, I was moved from my mother's home to my grandparent's house across town.
So, there I was, 12 years old, living with my grandparents (a culture shock on it's own) and I had no friends near by and no idea what to expect as the first day of  Junior High approached. 
My grandparents left for work early in the morning and returned late, so I virtually alone.
That is when I turned to my first two passions in life......reading and food.  I read every book I could find and would eat throughout the day. 
That is the summer I gained almost 60 pounds and skyrocketed over 200 pounds.  That is also the summer that began my journey to now....